Everything I See
by WordsPagesStories
Summary: "If I could tell her, tell her everything I see." How Evan knew these things about Zoe.


**Dear Person, I don't own Dear Evan Hansen.**

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 **Her smile.**

It was one of the things that stood out about her to Evan. He'd noticed it the first day he ever met her. Well, maybe they didn't meet because Zoe didn't acknowledge him but he sure did notice her.

It was many years ago, he had to have been in seventh grade and she in sixth. The day they first "met" was the second Tuesday after the beginning of the school. The sixth and seventh grade were eating lunch together like usual and Evan was sitting in the shadowy area of the lunch patio. Like always.

Evan was observing everyone as they lived their lives and passed him by. He sighed and pulled his knees up to his chest and closed his eyes. What was the point of noticing people if they wouldn't notice him back.

"Connor!"

That voice caught his attention and he opened his eyes to see a girl pulling away from a boy. They both had light brown hair and they looked somewhat alike so he assumed they were twins or at least siblings. The girl, he didn't recognize her, must have been a sixth grader, new to the school, and she was wearing jeans, a white tank top, and black Converse. And her brother was dressed in all black and a head taller than her. Evan recognized him, Connor, he was an outsider too, but in a way different than he was.

"Just buzz off! I don't need your help!" As Evan stared more at them, he realized how pretty he thought she was. "My life isn't your business!" Even when she was mad something about her made him smile.

"Zoe! You don't get it!" Connor argued, "No guy in his right mind would be flirting with you just because! You're eleven! No one is dating!"

Zoe, so that was her name.

"He wasn't flirting with me! We're just friends!" A smile crept across Zoe's face, "Not like you'd know anything about that."

Connor mumbled something before turning and storming off. To where? Who knew. But Zoe was left, still smiling.

 _Her smile,_ he decided, _that's what I like the most about her. It's sort of subtle, perfect and real. I wonder if she knows how wonderful that smile can make someone feel._

 **Scribbling stars on the cuffs of her jeans.**

It was one of the things he noticed she'd do. He had figured it out unintentionally eight or nine months after he started silently admiring her.

The night he found out was Open House Night at school. He and his mom had went together and she was talking with his Science teacher while he stood in the corner of the classroom. There were so many people, one of his classmates' parents were going to ask him if he knew their son or daughter. They always did.

"Excuse me," How did he guess, "What period do you have this class?"

"Uh," Why couldn't they have just ignored him, "Uh, um, f-f-fifth. Fifth period."

"So does my daughter," Was she going to start bragging about her daughter, "What's your name?"

"Evan." He paused then finished, "Evan Hansen."

The lady mumbled something about this being the kid her daughter claimed was weird, "Nice to meet you." Then she turned away to talk to some other mother.

Evan started staring off into blank space and jumped a little bit at the sound of his mom's voice, "Evan. Sorry this is taking so long. I just want to talk to Dakota before we leave. Maybe you can go talk to Jared, I think he's in this classroom."

Dakota Kleinman. His mom and her were pretty good friends, apparently since high school, and they sort of expected their sons to get along. The problem was, they didn't. Jared Kleinman. He was in Evan's grade and sort of a tech wiz. Jared didn't have many friends either, not that many that went to their school that is. They both just rather fly solo.

He was getting to the point where he was becoming so bored he really was considering trying to talk to Jared. Luckily, something caught his attention before he had to.

Zoe. Well Zoe and the rest of the Murphy family. (He found out that was her last name a few weeks ago.) Connor also had fifth period science and their parents were forcing him to show them all his classes. That left Zoe with not a lot to do.

She sat down in a corner in the classroom across from Evan. She braided a strand of her hair and then took a pen out of her jacket pocket. In a minute Zoe was scribbling small stars on the cuffs of her jeans. It was unusual to say the least but Evan thought it was sort of cute.

Over the next years he noticed that all the jeans she wore had little starts scribbled on their cuffs.

 **Filling out quizzes in teen magazines.**

This was another thing he noticed that she'd do. He only learned this in eighth grade because someone told her. Not from Zoe directly, but from one of Zoe's friends.

"You know you're staring at her."

"What?" Evan looked up and saw a seventh grade girl he sometimes passed in the halls. She was standing over him.

"Staring at her. You know, Zoe." She took a seat next to Evan, "I know you like her. You stare at us, more specifically her, every day."

"No, no I don't." He denied, blushing slightly.

"Yeah you do," She continued, "Why don't you just talk to her? She's really nice. Trust me, I'm one of her best friends."

"You are?" He looked suspiciously.

"Yes, I am," She answered, "Wednesday's the name. And you are."

"Evan."

"Well nice to meet you," Wednesday then asked, "But really, why don't you just talk to her?"

"It's complicated, I just have some problems with uh, talking to people." Since when had admitting this been so embarrassing for him.

"You're having no problems talking to me."

"You just seem more down to earth. Normal. She just seems special." He'd never told this to anyone, not even his mom.

"She's just a regular person, just like me," Evan didn't buy it, "If you don't believe me, you should. I mean Zoe still fills out quizzes in the back of teen magazines. Literally no one does that, but she does. Everybody does something that is different from anybody else and that's Zoe's." With that, Wednesday stood up and walked back to Zoe.

Zoe still filled out quizzes in the back of magazines, somehow that made talking to her seem easier to him. Maybe he would talk to her finally. Maybe. Just maybe.

 **Indigo Streaks.**

He was definitely surprised when Zoe showed up at school with indigo streaks in her hair. And quite frankly, he didn't hate it.

The day she showed up with indigo streaks in her hair was the first day of school. Evan was in ninth grade and for the past year had been secretly wishing that Zoe went to the same school. Because she was a grade lower she was still in Middle School while Evan was in High School. But finally, after an agonizing year, Zoe would be starting High School.

He could hardly wait. As bad as the first day was for him, all those teachers trying to talk to him and get to know him, he had been longing to see her again. He wanted to see if she had cut her hair or if she still had stars scribbled on her jeans.

The first four periods seemed to drag on and on and the teachers started each class with a game of three truths and a lie. And everyone had to share their three truths and a lie with five other people in the class. Evan ended up saying, "I can recite the first hundred digits of pi. I have never broken a bone. I have never been to another state. And I have six cousins."

The lie was the six cousins, he had one. They weren't close, their parents weren't so they weren't. And Evan had never broken a bone, yet.

He spent a good portion of lunch looking for Zoe, but the school was much bigger than the middle school and there were more places for her to be. Half way through he gave up after searching the indoor cafeteria and half of the patio.

Fifth and sixth period was just as bad as the first four. He had the same teacher for those periods and both times, the teacher made them find a random person and learn as much as possible about them in fifteen minutes. It was awful, he stumbled over his words and the other person thought he was stupid. The year was not off to a good start.

While talking to the last person, a boy who got bored enough with Evan to start ignoring him and start talking with the kids behind them. Evan couldn't decide if he should have been offended or thankful.

Then Zoe walked in.

Her brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail. She wore a white tank top with the Superman logo on it and the jeans she was wearing had stars on the cuffs, just how he remembered. But something was different. It took him a moment but then Evan realized she had streaks of color in her hair.

The color she chose was indigo and it looked perfect on her. Blue and purple would have been nice. But something about the color she chose made her so much prettier. It would soon wash out but until then, Evan would admire the extra color in her hair everyday.

From a distance, that is.

 **Dance like the rest of the world isn't there.**

He had been forced to go to that school dance. But he was glad he did. He got to add another thing to the list of things he liked about Zoe.

The Valentines Day Dance happened every year at his high school. The year before he had avoided it by not telling his mom about it. But this year she wasn't letting him get out of it. He was in tenth grade, his mom had told him, he needed to go to at least one dance that year. So there he was, standing awkwardly in the corner while the actual groups of friends had the time of their life.

Everyone there fell into a category. The students that came as couples, the kids that were truthfully dating and the ones who panicked and asked the first person they saw. The groups of friends that were a mix of girls and boys. The groups of all girls or all boys. The trios or pairs of friends that promised to go together. And then the people like Evan, the ones who were forced and obviously didn't want to be there.

He spotted a few people he recognized. Connor, he definitely had been forced and hung out in another corner, trying to disappear into the background. His math desk partner, Samy, she was there with a few of her friends. Jared, he had just shown up and was drifting around the room. And Zoe, Wednesday, and another one of their friends, Sadie. Thank goodness she didn't have a boyfriend.

Actually, that surprised him. Zoe was pretty, she was smart, funny, and just a likeable person. Some boy had to have tried to ask. Or every boy at school was crazy and no one did. Or she just turned them down to have fun with her best friends.

A screeching noise overpowered all the sound filling the gym. All attention was turned to the kids from the DJ Club who were in charge of all the music played.

The president of the club said, "It appears that we've come across a disagreement. Certain people, I'm not naming any names but," Then he faked a cough and said, "Elle and Lily. Believe that girls have better dance moves. The only way to settle this is through testing so clear the dance floor and if you want to participate, boys on the left and girls on the right!"

Elle snatched the microphone and added, "Because girls are always right!" The girls cheered.

Pretty much everyone but the kids being forced to be there were going to do the dance off. There were two crowds on either side of the room, dates split up and were yelling at each other.

Yelling things like, "Let's go! Girls rule! Boys will win!"

Evan moved across to a different spot for a better view. Maybe this could be interesting.

He immediately saw a pattern. While boys stuck to dance trends the girls would perform small bits of dance routines and do tricks and flips. Half of the girls used a hairband to tie up their dresses if they were going to do an ariel or a high kick.

Zoe slowly made her way to the front of the crowd and when a girl didn't go up next she took her turn. Evan wasn't even entirely sure what she was doing but it was really impressive. The finale was what he remembered the best though. She kicked her left leg straight up and held it there for a few seconds.

How did she do it? Almost anyone would be terrified to do that in front of a big group of people. How did she learn to dance like the rest of the world wasn't there?

* * *

It was finally happening, Zoe was actually talking to him. He was so excited he could hardly contain himself.

So many questions went though his head.

 _How did she know my name? Wednesday probably. Why is she talking to me? Has she notice me staring? Will she hate me? Will it turn out she's not as great as I think she is?_

Evan waved awkwardly as she walked away after he nearly asked her to sign his cast. That went terrible. He could only think of the things he didn't tell her. All the things he liked about her. She knew he liked her in jazz band. But there were so many other things.

 _If I could tell her. Tell her everything I've seen._

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And there you have it. My first Dear Evan Hansen fanfiction. I love this show just as much as Newsies and I hope you enjoy. The ending is shorter than I hoped it would be but I'm proud of it. Review if you so choose to. Thanks a bunch.


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